Every year there are certain things within the year that you’ll remember when you recall the years. For myself, I have many things to remember for the year 2007, among the other previous and of course, following years…
On New Year’s Eve 2007 I disregarded my dad’s instructions for being home at a certain time… I was with a family friend, Harley. At the time I was only 15, he was 25. From the start of our friendship, I only thought he was cute, but I knew my dad wouldn’t be too pleased with anything happening between us. Harley was moving into an apartment and I was walking down with to help him. Yes, we were walking down the street, with a vacuum for at least 6 blocks. Our walk was full of excitement, we were singing songs without the music, and waving at those who stared at our ‘vacuum situation’. It was fun for me at the time, there wasn’t very many people who would ‘act a fool’ on the streets with me. 🙂
When we arrived to the apartment, there was a big mess to clean up. Debris and wood along with dust and dirt from god knows how long ago. The walls were paper-thin, we could hear the neighbors, but couldn’t understand the spanish. I started to sweep, like I had set out to do. I was all over the house, back and forth from the windows, to the kitchen, back to the bathroom, and so on… He let me scurry for about an hour, then he started to make fun of me, flirtatiously. I felt the vibe, and took control, showed him that I was interested, and as always; didn’t listen to any authorities…
My dad told me to call him in an hour from when we left. I tried to call him from a payphone, but he was busy, so I decided to just let go… I was having a good time, we were doing what we said, until it got dark. As soon as the sun set, Harley had no desire to clean. The electricity wasn’t turned on yet, and we had no flashlight, so it was no use. Harley said his friend wanted to chill, so we get in a 4-door Expedition and head out-of-town…
I partied the night away, doing things that only teenagers tell their friends. I thought about this night, and everything that had happened. We had sex. My dad would kill us both if he knew! My dad tore me out of the house, threatening Harley and all his friends, I was extremely embarrassed… I thought for sure from that day out I wouldn’t see him again, and I liked him. My dad banned him from me, and vise versa, but he still talked to him at our house… Harley and I were Bonnie and Clyde at the beginning of our relationship, we disobeyed my dad’s specific orders, we drove illegally, we both had habits that were beyond illegal, and we only listened to each other.
After sneaking around my dad for a month, I decided to just move out of my dad’s, telling him different stories every time I took some things of mine. Harley stopped going to my dad’s as much, and we spent a lot of time together, elsewhere. My father was pissed, who wouldn’t be in this scenario? My 16th birthday was when my dad broke the ice of angered feelings between us. He came and talked to both Harley and I. Harley antagonized him into a go-around, embarrassing only himself. It was then when Harley told my dad he loved me. I had no idea it was even that far out. We were only together for 2 months before my birthday, that wasn’t enough to go on…?
My dad insisted we spend more time together and talk about my relationship. So, I did. My dad and I were always close, when we fought it wasn’t right for either of us. My dad and I were spending more and more time together at our house and his. It was my dad who told me I was pregnant after a certain situation 2 months after my sweet sixteen. I didn’t think it was true, but I got a pregnancy test and took one the next day. The test came out negative, but there was a slight problem with taking it. My mom informed me; after the fact, that I should’ve taken the test in the morning when the hormones are at their highest. I thought about what my mom said, and even looked it all up, but I didn’t take the second test until a week after the first.
I knew what would happen if I was pregnant, and I didn’t want to deal with all the responsibility. I took the second test on a Tuesday morning, I remember crying,for 3 hours after the test and all the informative calls, both of us. We called our parents and his mother cried with us, my dad had nothing more to say than; I told you so, and my mother put it off as an excitement to her, even when you could hear the anger in her voice.
Although my parents weren’t very happy with me, I knew I couldn’t let her go. I found out I was 6 1/2 months pregnant, and I decided to keep my baby girl. It wasn’t until 8 months gestation when my mother and I sat down with Harley and chose a name for our daughter. This was where my mom was useful. I wanted a name that meant something. I chose DeAnnaLynn Marie Ferch. Harley’s middle name, as well as both our fathers middles names, are Dean, my middle name as well as my dad’s mom, cousins and aunts, is Ann. My sisters middle name is Marie, after our grandmother on mom’s side. Lynn is my mother’s middle name and an aunt and cousins…
My due date was set for October 5, 2007. Throughout my pregnancy I went through hell. It was summertime, and I had no air conditioning for about half of the summer. My boyfriend, Harley, was not very thoughtful when it came to being home with me, or eating with me. The things that are most important to women are tripled in importance when you are pregnant. I tried explaining things to Harley, but he just wouldn’t get it. He continued his addiction through my pregnancy and disregarded that I even existed…
I threatened to move out several times, but I really felt it could work, because we loved eachother… But, after a while I knew it was a endless relationship and he wouldn’t change. But by that time, I was stuck. WE were having a child and he was very posessive. If things didn’t go his way, he was upset to his extreme… I was sent away after the state took my baby and gave Harley’s parents guardianship. That was the break I was looking for to get out of his grip.
He had me in his posession for a year and a half, I was still myself to a certain extent, then he was in total control thinking he could tell me what not to do, or who to hang out with. At one point he didn’t even want me seeing some of my family, which is something a pregnant woman needs. But aside from how he understood things, and his beliefs, I loved him. It was hard being away from my baby and him at the same time for so long. I felt lost.
When I found out what would happen, I knew my decision at that exact moment. I was breaking up with him. I couldn’t take it any longer… I had a home visit shortly after I moved into my foster home in Iowa Falls, Iowa. I planned to meet up with him, and explain what I was thinking and feeling. The moment I saw him, my heart broke. He was happy for some reason and I didn’t know why, but I would in short minutes. We started to talk and we both said there was something to say. I let Harley go first, not knowing what he had… He knelt down on his knee, held out a box and asked if he could be mine forever. A promise ring. When I’m fixing to tell him this?!? Wow. That would be harsh to deny his ring, and I loved him. So I decided not to tell him right then. I would wait…
Months passed and we had little connections. When I tried to talk to him, his words were harsh and meaningless. Like he didn’t even know what he was saying. It was then when I stopped responding to him and his calls. The only way we communicated was over our daughter, and that was little. Harley never really took responsibility for what he had done or things he should’ve done as an adult. Therefore, he didn’t understand some things, and his mother would be the one talking to me.
Harley and I had our good times, and our bad times, like every couple. The best news of 2007 was finding out I was having a daughter, and the worst was knowing what I had to give up. My family still supported me as a young mother, and still do, as well as his family, too. Everyone loves Dede, she means the world to her parents. 2007 Changed life itself for both our families, there was a beautiful baby girl.
Twelve days late, after and hour and a half of labor. We were joined by DeAnnaLynn Marie Ferch, weighing 7 lbs, 12 oz, measuring at 21 1/2 in. long. 10:21 a.m. October 17, 2007. Needless to say, I was a worn out mother for the Halloween I never attended. But I had a great Christmas with My family and our Joyous child. And still to this day my family loves her presence and her easy-going attitude. DeAnnaLynn is a blessing, and she changed my life FOREVER when I was just 16 years old…
*Strictly*Lullah* 